PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT NUTS

What brought this post to a head was watching the Charlie Rose show tonight. His guest was the creator of House of Cards. What he had to say is immaterial  It was, rather, his hair.

I take note of the new styles of today and am not offended because there is no discernible intent to harm. But there comes a point where I must scratch my head and ask, "what the hell is going on here?"

This guy looked as if he had just rolled out of bad, went immediately to the mirror and concluded that his hair looked too normal and required a further touch of madness. He therefore used his fingers to most closely resemble the Frankenstein monster.

The sides of his hair had no recognizable pattern or direction and seemed to be trained towards his nose. The front of his hair had the distinction of pointing left and right and up, all at the same time. I couldn't take my eyes off this styling except to conclude that this guy was certifiable.

One thing I am not is a square. I am not the hippest of them all but, dammit, have some idea of what's happenin' and this is not an isolated incident but rather a trend in men of all ages. I don't dig the wet look and, indeed, appreciate the casual appearance but, heavens, a cat should attempt some maneuvering of sanity in his personal toilette. Walk naked but style your hair to, in some way, resemble an inhabitant of Earth.

But, then again, it may be me who's out of step.

Although, I doubt it.

Next, a tablet shall be invented which will cause pregnancy. A man will be walking down the street and someone will say, "See that guy? His father's a pill."

And who knows, pants may soon be introduced that are made of wood. No more zippers--just swingin' doors.

Anything is possible. Yesterday, I saw a fellow trying to insert a cigarette into the driver's door lock. I approached and pointed this out to him, whereupon he looked up at me and said, with a thick tongue, "oh m'god, I swallowed my key."

Bye bye. Buy bonds.