Monday, May 12, 2014


One day, not so very long ago, the Lord decided to visit his assembly line to personally check on heavenly quality control. After all, his work product inevitably reflected on his preferences and ability to stay with the times which he was consistently adjusting, hopefully for the better.

What caught his eye was something He didn't see. The male species, although not wanting completely,nevertheless lacked an " oomph", something really special, something, that when seen, would prompt a proclamation of his own talent, such as an uncontrollable response of "oh. my God." So, he decided to get involved, just this one time.

His chief angels provided him with a luxurious drawing board, without paint brushes if you please, for his fingers would do the talking. And the Lord set himself to the task of creating a perfect man, of whom he could be proud and to whom he could point with satisfaction as an illustration of his work product.

He made this man handsome in an unique way. That is, he made him look so gorgeous that he would not just look good but would outshine whatever his surroundings might be at any time or in any place. The face would be more than just noble; it would reflect and perfectly blend in with a dash of cuteness and an ample touch of royalty. His features would pass the test of being viewed from all angles, in dim light or bright, while making sure that none of this would be adversely effected by his wardrobe. He would make women drool and men shiver with envy regardless of what he wore. He would be the epitome of classism.

The hair was important. The Lord had to admit to being frustrated by the way men groomed their hair. It was almost as if it were a crime to bring brush or comb into the ritual of toilette. The more unkempt the better seemed to be the the preferred fashion, with hair finger-formed into a slept-in mess drawing raves. Having the hair pointed straight down to and over the eyes was also something the Lord rejected. So---what did he do? He made his creation so handsome that whichever hairdo he chose, mohawk or shoulder length, on any occasion, only magnified his beauty.

He endowed his creation with success and the confidence to handle everything with extreme aplomb, causing the world to look up to him further still. He granted him the ability to always say the right thing at the right time. And, for the ultimate finishing touch, he provided him with an extraordinary woman whose beauty and success almost rivaled his.

And when the Lord pushed back to observe his work, he was very pleased with himself--if he did say so himself. For he had created a man as close to perfection as one man could be. He was charming and classy at the same time; never to be overly-ostentacious but rather to attract people who would become instant followers. He seemed to have everything but in an oh-so-winning way. An inevitable candidate for Mount Rushmore

He had created Tom Brady.


  1. As I began reading this entry I began to suspect where your Honor's point was heading. I admit that, halfway through, I began to blush, as it became more and more obvious that this piece was, undoubtedly, about one person and one person only... the man of whom you are the proudest in the world - a man cut from your very own cloth, yet excels you in every way, never evoking jealousy, but rather pride.
    Naturally, this post was about me, your loyal and loving son.

    I guess I am mistaken. Sorry I wasn't a big strong football star, DAD!!!

    [Sounds of fast foot steps leaving computer behind, followed by muffled cries of shame and unreached potential.]

    1. But you are my true All-American, Jack Armstrong. You are reality and I wouldn't change a thing.