This morning, I received an email from LinkedIn. It began with the question, "HAVE YOU GOOGLED YOURSELF?"
This passed the junk mail test, so it's legit. I figured: before the tabloids get ahold (truly sorry) of this sensational item, it would behoove me to come clean (don't say a word) in an attempt to nip this in the bud. (I'm a recidivist, what do you want from me?)
The answer could be "not for many years", but that would be a copout. (Shoot me, kill me!) I don't want to pull a Weiner on you (Easy, now. A legitimate news reference), so here is the naked (I'm takin' the Fifth) truth.
"Not so far, today. But, it's early yet."
The more important question is "How did they know?" Camcorders in the can? Clark Kent on my case? Who are their sources? Am I surrounded by rats? It was, certainly, a slow investigation, because I began googling when my voice dropped an octave. I outed myself only with the advent of Google.com. And, let's face it, this would never be a litmus test for politicians.
This has been a stressful episode in my life. I've got to get ahold of myself. Perhaps a vacation in Palm Beach?