REEL vs REAL

Triumph vs Sadness. Are these phenomena discoverable prior to reality, affording us the opportunity to accept or avoid ?

How long can passion be sustained? What happens when it dies? How does one go about finding it again? Should one even try?

Does a marriage with respect but without good sex have any reasonable life expectancy ? Or are we in the realm of oxymorons?

Great sex is a must--a marital minimum for the marriage to have any shot at all. Without it, the union is destined for doom.

Moments of passion are the indispensable keys. There are the big ones that make us soar to the heavens with abandon (like extraordinary sex, get it?) the kind that makes one's head spin and makes life seem worth living. And then there are the small ones that, even for just a moment, take your breath away: a perfectly prepared meal, a fine glass of wine that warms the insides the way it was meant to. Even a moment of tension, of suspense (as long as it all turns out all right and we live to tell the tale over and over again) takes you there.

Real life or what we experience vicariously in the movies--we're still dealing with kicks of emotion.

Good living. The occasional self-indulgent vacation. The infrequent expensive gift that makes no economic sense whatsoever. It feels good when one splurges.

Unfortunately, the meal ends, the glass of wine empties, the orgasm subsides and the bill shows up.

Most of us don't attempt to live our whole lives on clouds of euphoria, always looking for something bigger and better in life, never, ever satisfied. For most of us, the time comes when we settle into something deeper and more meaningful.

In the case of romance, it might be a relationship based on respect and admiration, common interests and shared history. If sex can last, more the better. The passion will probably dissipate.

We settle. Most of us do. It's not so bad, or at least not as bad as it sounds. It's easier that way. It makes more sense.

But, after 84 years and counting, take it from me:

AS DUSK TAKES OVER, AND YOU DERIVE THE EVER-WELCOME PLEASURE OF MEMORIES, THE THINGS YOU RELIVE, IN EXQUISITE DETAIL, ARE THE EPISODES INVOLVING YOU AND A WOMAN. THE MOMENTS WHEN THE BELLS RANG, THE LIGHTENING STRUCK AND YOUR WORLD EVOLVED AROUND BEING IN LOVE. THE WHOLE 9 YARDS. THE FIRST MEETING WHEN YOU EXPERIENCED THE MAGIC CHEMISTRY OF FALLING IN LOVE, THE HEARTACHE AND GLORIOUS RECONCILIATION SO THAT EVERYTHING FELT RIGHT AGAIN, AND YOU SKIPPED INSTEAD OF WALKED. YOU COULDN'T FORSEE HOW MANY TIMES THIS WOULD HAPPEN TO YOU. IT DIDN'T MATTER, AS LONG AS IT HAPPENED AT LEAST ONCE.

Oh, if you could go back in time, you would have done some things differently. But what a ride it was, and your heart was stronger for it.

Romance, sex, love--call it what you will. Movies magnify life. They help you remember. If you have no memories, you're in trouble.

And as I look back, it would have been a barren track if it wasn't for that old devil moon.

Don't be still, my heart.